Behind The Scenes: The Grief Practice Book

I find myself in an awkward spot these days, a few months out from self-publishing my second book. I am afraid to fail and I am afraid to succeed. That's how I know I'm right where I should be. This book has had a life of its own. There have been major delays, hiccups, crash … Continue reading Behind The Scenes: The Grief Practice Book

For The Little Girls Trying To Be Perfect

I have spent so much of this life trying to be perfect. And what I have to show for it is a body full of tension and a mind whose instinct is to put on the brakes instead of lifting my arms and letting out a whole-hearted and wholly inappropriate whoooot.  And so. This is … Continue reading For The Little Girls Trying To Be Perfect

The Face of Grief

Grief walked by me today. It was wearing all white, each pair of eyes holding pain the way only humans can. The fifty or so humans walking by me wore white shirts that held a picture and a name. Everyone looked up as they passed. At their number, at their unity, at the name they … Continue reading The Face of Grief

Welcoming Grief

This time of year always sends me back to the Land of Loss to unpack my deepest grief, lest I forget. Every year from Thanksgiving through the winter solstice I honor my own loss, my own heart, my own way to collapse and to rise. I ask my grief how it is and what it … Continue reading Welcoming Grief

Let It All Fall Apart

Save your strength for those who need you to be strong but how tender can you be with your own heart how patient can you be with your own growth how kind can you be to your weak parts Hold it together when others are collapsing but once in a while let it all fall … Continue reading Let It All Fall Apart

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time when I was very sad and very alone I would walk a certain stretch of beach for miles and dream of the woman I would like to be and say to myself, over and over: That woman is worth waiting to meet. I did that for years. It kept me alive. … Continue reading Once Upon a Time

What I Remember

It's the love I remember. From the stranger or the soulmate, the smallest act of kindness; each one saying, I love you. I remember the shaming and the pain too, but the love gives them room to be seen, room to breathe. That's how I know it's the way forward and backward and in and … Continue reading What I Remember

My Life Mala

We all wear our stories in some way or another, don’t we? They make us who we are (and sometimes keep us from becoming who we can be if we let them define us too narrowly.) I started making what I call “Life Malas” because each marker is placed for a life event. I used … Continue reading My Life Mala

What I Know About An Open Heart

My uncle had open-heart surgery last week. In my good-sized extended family our reunions tend to take place at hospitals instead of at holidays. It’s an interesting dynamic trying to stretch my heart open wide enough to hold both the joy at seeing my family and the sadness or stress because of why we’re at the hospital. … Continue reading What I Know About An Open Heart

The Art of Shedding Our Shell

Ecdysis is a Greek term used to describe "the art of escaping from the old shell." A shedding, if you will. It's specifically used in reference to lobsters, who undergo a fascinating transformation process throughout their lives so that they can continue to grow. Because their shells are hard, in order for the lobster to … Continue reading The Art of Shedding Our Shell