Monique Minahan

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Monique Minahan

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I wish I had taken those first 30 days postpartum to rest and be mothered so the next 5 years would have been a little gentler on my nervous system and my heart. As it is we make do. He reminds me the impossible is possible. And to never trade what is for what was or what might be.

Everything is pulling me in towards my center right now. I have felt it physically, viscerally, energetically and emotionally. This deep boundary arising in me that I've never felt before. At first I tried to push it away. Why am I being so contracted? I wondered. I tried to make sense of it and override it. Something deeper told me to respect it and allow it. And so I have been. Following my body's lead. Somewhere in my dreams I understood that this contraction is necessary right now. In order for me to open as big as I'll have to, put myself out there as far as I need to, trust like never before, this digging deep is necessary. This incubation is how I'll have the strength, stamina and integrity to step into the next part fully. . And so I linger here a little longer, bathing my heart in privacy and darkness, tucking the questions, the fear, and the unknown into the tender corners of my heart, and wait. Wait. . 📸@staceywinters

I wonder what we would do (and how we would do it) if no one paid us, graded us, or measured us by how good, profitable, or ingenious it was. If we did it simply to add beauty to the world or leave things a little better than we found them. . I wonder how we would be (in relationship, in yoga, in life) if we didn't have to prove anything. If we started off understood, whole, enough, and simply moved towards what felt good from there. . I wonder what we would say if the whole world was listening (and if we truly realize the power of those microphones we carry around all day in our pockets, from which we can speak to the world.) . I wonder how we would live (and how we would love) if we didn't think we were guaranteed a tomorrow or even a next breath.

Quantum mechanics or reiki, whichever floats your boat. The rocks actually vibrate between my fingers. I feel for their center of gravity. It's not always where it looks. Once I find it I let the rock vibrate between my fingers until it steadies. Then I know it's time to let go. I average about 15 to 20 minutes per rock. Then the kids run up and knock them down. Everything has a center. Everything is transitory. Knowing when to stand patiently by and when to let go is often just an inner knowing, a feeling, more than a clear thought or point on a list.

We don't have to sweep our pain under the rug. Our unfixable, unmentionable, unbelievable traumas, humiliations or losses. . We don't have to run from the pain and race to the positive. . The love and light will still be there when we are ready. . We don't have to tie a nice bow on our pain to make it more presentable to everyone who can't imagine what we are bearing up under. . We can fall apart, we can be broken, we can heal. We don't have to hide our truth. . Everyone knows this is part of being human, even if they avert their eyes. Maybe especially if they avert their eyes. . We don't have to plant our pain and expect it to grow into transformation or a spiritual breakthrough or something beautiful. . We can just hold it in our hands, tattoo it on our hearts, and go on living. . We don't have be guilted if we are not ready to heal. Healing is not a race. . We don't have to dress our pain up in a smile. We can just wear it on the outside the way it feels on the inside. . We can stop and mourn decades later, in the middle of a laugh or on the brightest day. We don't have to explain or justify our hearts. . We can just be. You and me and us and them. We can just be. At peace or in pain, heavy or light. . We can stop fighting what is ours to feel. It was never a battle to begin with. It was always just a part of being human. ______________________ #icallitpoetry

Today at 3:30 @gatherencinitas. Let's honor our collective loss, our current life, and our innate ability to heal. Carve some time out of your day to breathe and reflect. We don't all get that privilege. Come to practice or just sit and be. It's not just another day. We need more spaces where we can hold death and life in the same breath without judgement. _____________________ #thisisnotadressrehearsal #griefisapractice #sandiegoyoga #sandiego #encinitasyoga #encinitas #leucadia #carlsbadyoga #carlsbad #nineeleven #yoga

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