I want to speak of the breakthroughs and the dreams achieved
and not about how I keep running up against the edges of my heart.
those cold, stubborn edges that don’t want to budge for anyone,
soften for anyone,
open for anyone,
which is why she often has to be broken open in joy or sorrow.
I want to preach of strength and success
and not of looking in the mirror at weakness, fragility, emptiness,
or of the patience it takes to sit with the nothingness
and hold space for its very existence
until the enoughness emerges out of the dark womb
and cries out for the very first time.
I want to tout the answers
and not the questions no one wants to hear:
when is the first time we hated something about our reflection?
who planted the seeds of shame in our hearts?
why did we leave our dreams to follow someone else’s dream?
I want to speak of hand-holding and baby-cuddling and sweet nothings,
but I don’t
because those are the easy things,
those are the things that dance proudly on the stage of our life,
the things that don’t hide in corners and only reveal themselves in shadows.
but these, the hard things,
are just as sacred,
deserve as much a voice and a listen,
crave just as much love as the easy things
if not more.