I spend a lot of time focusing my senses on external things. It’s the nature of the mind to think, to get distracted, to stay busy. I often find myself mindlessly clicking through social media with a vague sense that I’m looking for something.
I never find it, whatever I’m looking for. An answer, a connection, a direction, a purpose.
I don’t find it because it’s not out there. It’s in here.
It’s in here, in the deep dark chambers of my heart where love and fear sleep side by side.
It’s in here, behind my ribs where my inbreath and outbreath dance cheek to cheek.
It’s in here, hiding in the space behind my eyes where seeing gives way to knowing.
It’s in here, in the attic of my soul and the basement of my body.
It’s in here, in my throat that swells with song and wails with weeping.
It’s in here, in my chest that rises in love and bows in gratitude.
It’s in me, the answer I seek, the connection I seek, the company I seek, the purpose I seek.
I don’t have to find it. I have to remember it. When I do everything falls into place. Everything falls into the place it’s always been in, I just become present enough to see it, to stay with it, to appreciate it, to inhabit it.
This is my practice. Remembering.