The door I wanted to walk through, the door I was anxious to walk through, the door I was sure I was supposed to walk through, that I was standing in front of, timidly knocking at, half afraid it would actually open… that door wasn’t budging.
I camped out in front of this door, completely confused as to why it wasn’t opening. Wasn’t I being patient enough? Wasn’t I ready enough?
Some time passed and I kept working on my patience. One day I decided to take a walk through this great house of doors. I passed doors I had opened long ago and saw all the beautiful things I had found when I entered. I saw doors to rooms undergoing renovation. A door to dreams opened easily and all my dreams sat shiny and ready for me to choose the next one to take off the shelf.
I continued opening random doors, familiar doors… nothing really caught my attention until I opened one door that didn’t look so special. No fancy knob, no key required. Just a plain old door.
I walked through it and pulled a book off the shelf. This book is pretty interesting, I thought. This might be helpful whenever the really important door opens and lets me in. So I settled in. One thing led to the next. There was a beautiful open window in this room, a comfy couch, and everything I seemed to need within my reach.
I think I’ll stay here a while, I mused. The other door can wait.
And so I finally found my way back to my present. As present as I was being in my meditation, in my daily life, in my interactions, when it came to this one area of expectation, of hope, of yearning, I was not being present at all. I had lost all perspective because my focus was so narrowed in on the door that wouldn’t open.
I felt trapped and stuck, without many choices, because I was only allowing for once solution: the door must open. When I expanded my vision to the unknown, to the who-knows, to the unplanned and unexpected, I found myself able to move again. I found myself walking through the door of presence. This door is never locked, and when we choose to enter it holds everything we need. It is peaceful here, satisfying, and there is nowhere to rush off to.
From this place of presence I felt like I could fly. The ceiling was a blue sky and the walls were painted with ease, inspiration, creativity and hope.
At times we all find ourselves standing in front of a door that won’t open. This must be the one I am meant to walk through, we think. I’ve worked so hard to get here, I won’t move until it opens.
Sometimes it opens and sometimes we spend days, months, years, or lifetimes waiting for doors to open.
The path back to presence is always right in front of us, but not always easy to see. When you are lost or feeling stuck, remember to start where you are. It will always lead you to the door that opens every time. This is the magic and the power of Now.
photo credit: the_girl